Appointment and Matters Arising
Vamidu accepted the nomination for the position of Spatial Quasi Cooker and subjected himself to a gruelling grilling game from members of the palace court. Expectations were as high as the curiosity about whose head would go under his axe first. False lists of alleged chop-chop cases lined-up for prosecution showed up on social media and were well patronized.
One hot afternoon in November, a week after a sudden violent storm had uprooted a mighty oak in the forest, Vamidu sprinted from his office to the broadcasting house, brandishing sheets of papers and shouting “Play a song for me Doctor Jay” repeatedly. Asked what matter was, he responded he would tell only after the song. The Programmes Manager had no option but to ask for a song title. “Play Bob Marley’s “Revolution” for me” Vamidu said. Programmes Manager raised his eyebrows and shifted his nose up, scrolled through his playlist and pressed play.
“Now that the music has been played, can we proceed?” “No. Not yet. Play me four more” Vamidu said, presenting a play list: “Oh, Bumbo Klaat” by Peter Tosh; “Is this the Way” by Lucky Dube; “Election” by Culture” and “I-can’t-stand-it” by Eric Clapton.
After the songs were played, he handed the Programmes Manager the sheets in his hand. Shivering while reading the title of the document “Vamidujection” the Programmes Manager managed to ask “What is that? Are you giving up on your job?” “Read, my friend. Read” Vamidu replied.
Response
The vamidujection of the Spatial Quasi Cooker’s cookery job would become a huge headache for the Elephant Family to deal with. Naabudani had three linguists. The first operated at the gates of the palace and spoke for him on matters related to his office. When Naabudani appointed or disappointed someone, he put it out into the public domain. Linguist number two operated far away from the palace. He is the ghetto-bwoy-dem-seh who worked with both professional and amateur communicators to project Naabudani to the public. Linguist number three is Naabudani’s chief scribe. He carried the chief’s true heartbeat to the public. His name is Guneater, the warrior who bites bullets and calls for more gun fire. He was a man neither afraid of gunfire nor of the threat of death. He torched the sea and turned it to dry land. He kept sleep awake for seven days until sleep paid back the dowry he collected from him without providing him a bride. No one was more qualified to be Naabudani’s Personal Secretary than Guneater.
Vamidu-the-Vigilante had obviously bitten too much. He had wrestled with death and brought him back to life. He had ruffled shoulders and must be shown where power lies. Guneater knows the essence of quick responses in communication and was always ready for anything that brings the image of the king into disrepute. Emboldened by the spirit of Kairos, he responded to Vamidu’s allusions and assertions immediately, all guns blazing.